A Furuba Christmas Story
by frostychan12
Summary: Tohru and the Sohmas are sitting in Shigure's house on Christmas-Eve-Eve. They play a game of pass-it-along-storytelling, and the results make...no sense, to the horror of the more mature family members. Meant to be completely random. Please R&R!


A NEW STORY! You'd think that I'd have given up by now, but noooooo way! They just keep comin'! Anyway, this is my first REALhumor fic. Dusty gave me the idea when we were on our way to the airport. We were singing some songs from a Scrooge play that we did about 2 years ago. We were laughing and talking, and Dusty said, "Ya know, Scrooge and the Grinch should go bowling." Hence, this story. Aaaaaaand...they might have kidnapped Santa in the process...

Kira: THEY KIDNAP SANTA?

Me: Do you know any other 'Santa'?

Kira: Santa Mario.

Me: THAT'S 'SANTA MARIA', DOOFUS.

Kira: Whatever!

Zero: Is there any violence?

Me: Uuuuh...no, not really. But there may be something weird that you might call violent at the end.

Zero: That's IT?

Me: Uh, yeah.

Zero: No fair...

Me: 0.o Anyway, please READ AND REVIEW!

* * *

A Furuba Christmas Story

(Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, Momiji, Haru, Kagura, Kisa, Hiro, Ayame, Shigure, and Hatori are sitting in Shigure's house 2 days before Christmas…like, Christmas Eve Eve, I guess. Anyway, back to the story.)

Tohru: (comes in with hot cocoa for everyone, and hands everyone a glass) Here you go!

Haru: (takes a sip from cup) So, what do you wanna do?

Momiji: I KNOW! LET'S TELL A STORY!

Tohru: Um, okay…how do you want to tell it?

Momiji: Well, we did this thing in one class, where one person started a story, and the others added onto it until it got to the last person, and then they finished it!

Kisa: That sounds like fun…

Kagura: (wraps arms around Kyo's neck) Yeah! Sounds fun! Kyo, let's try it!

Kyo: NO.

Kagura: (squeezes Kyo's neck tighter) No, I in-sist!

Kyo: Okay, okay! Sheesh!

Ayame: Dear Kagura, let go of Kyon-kyon's neck! He's turning blue!

Kagura: Aww…okay. (lets go of Kyo's neck with look of disappointment)

Kyo: (rubs neck) 'BOUT TIME!

Tohru: Okay! Who wants to start?

Haru: I'll start.

Tohru: Okay.

Haru: It was a cold, winter night…

Kyo: Aaaaaand here we go.

Yuki: Shut up, you baka neko. It's starting.

Kyo: (raises fist at Yuki)

Haru: Anyway, it was a cold winter night…a bitter old man sat in his office at a bank in London…

Kagura: MAKE IT WHOVILLE!

Haru: A bitter old man sat in his office at a bank in Whoville…

Hiro: Why does he have to work at a _bank?_

Kyo: CAN HE JUST TELL THE FREAKIN' STORY WITHOUT ALL OF YOU INTERRUPTING?

Haru: Probably not. ANYWAY…on a cold winter night, a bitter old man sat in his office at a bank in Whoville. He continued counting the money on his desk. A knock came from the door a few feet away from him.

Momiji: WAS IT SANTA CLAUS?

Haru: No, not yet.

Momiji: YAY!

Haru: He stood up and answered the door. A tall gangly--

Momiji: What's 'gangly' mean?

Shigure: Think of a tall thin person.

Momiji: Oh. Okay.

Haru: A tall gangly man was behind it. "Merry Christmas!" he said. The man scowled at him. "Bah humbug!" he cried, "I don't need Christmas to be happy!" The man gaped at him, and with a turn of his heel, said, "You know, you and the Grinch should--

Momiji: GO BOWLING!

Kyo and Yuki: The GRINCH is in this?

Hiro: As in the I'll-find-a-way-to-stop-Christmas-from-coming-but-how-second-grader's-movie Grinch?

Haru: The very same.

Kagura: So doesn't that mean that Cindy Lowe is in this story?

Haru: Probably.

Hatori: I don't like the way this is headed.

Ayame: Ha'ri! When did you get here?

Hatori: I've been here.

Shigure: Well, why didn't you say anything?

Hatori: I was stunned speechless by the stupidity of this story.

Yuki: Can we just please continue?

Haru: Can I pass the story onto someone?

Momiji: OOH, OOH! PICK ME, PICK ME!

Haru: Alright. Momiji.

Momiji: WHOOO HOOO! Okay! The Who-guy left, and Scrooge--

Yuki: EBENEZER SCROOGE?

Momiji: Yeah!

Yuki: 0.o

Momiji: Scrooge got an idea. He called up the Grinch on his cell phone.

Hiro: THE GRINCH HAS A CELL PHONE?

Momiji: Yeah. How do you think he contacted the costume place where he got the Santa suit?

Hiro: He made the suit himself, moron.

Shigure: How do you know that he didn't buy a suit and CLAIM that he made it?

Hiro: We're getting off subject here.

Momiji: He called the Grinch. The Grinch answered. "Whaddya want? Go away!" he said. "I have an offer for you," said Scrooge, "I hate the season of Christmas as well."

Kyo: Uh oh.

Momiji: Can I pass it on to someone else now?

Kagura: Let me try it!

Momiji: Okay!

Kagura: Okay! (clears throat) Grinch paused. "Go on," he said thoughtfully. Scrooge smiled to himself and continued, "Why don't you and I go somewhere on Christmas Eve night." "But that still doesn't stop it from coming," Grinch pointed out.

Hiro: Heeeeere we go.

Kisa: I…like the story so far…

Hiro: Fiiiine…

Kagura: "That's the thing," Scrooge said, "We bring SANTA with us." "I don't see your point," said the Grinch.

Kyo: Neither do I.

Kagura: Be-QUIET!

Kyo: (shuts up)

Kagura: Anyway. "You see, this can work two ways. If he enjoys his time with us, then we keep him there all night and all morning so he won't have time to deliver the presents. If he hates it, then he'll be so grumpy that he won't deliver presents anyway," Scrooge explained.

Hiro: That's stupid! I mean, what if he warps back in time or something to deliver the presents, or-or delivering presents makes him happy, and he does it anyway!

Kagura: Shut up! This is MY story, and I'll tell it MY way!

Hiro: Well, your way is dumb.

Kyo: This is the first time I'll ever do this, but HIRO, SHUT UP FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY.

Hiro: Fine…

Kagura: I'm BORED now. Who wants to start?

Shigure: Oh, I will!

Kyo: Oh, god. This won't be good.

Shigure: "Yes, a good point!" said the Grinch.

Kyo: The Grinch doesn't say 'yes, a good point'! That makes him sound AGREEABLE!

Shigure: And how exactly do you know that?

Kyo: IT'S COMMON KNOWLEDGE.

Shigure: And my question still remains.

Kyo: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

2 HOURS LATER…

Yuki: CAN WE JUST FINISH THE STORY?

Shigure: Oh, fine. You people aren't fun. Anyway, the Grinch and Scrooge got to the North Pole and rounded up Santa.

Hiro: 'Rounded up'?

Shigure: Yeah. They tied him up and loaded him into the trunk.

Hiro: IN THE TRUNK? AS IN, A CAR?

Shigure: Yeah! This story seemed a bit old fashioned, so I spruced it up a bit!

Kyo: Two fictional psycho characters from children's books just kidnapped Santa Claus and stuffed him in the trunk of a car.

Shigure: Exactly!

Kyo: What kindova sicko are you?

Shigure: ((deep voice)) "What are you doing with me?" came Santa's muffled voice from the trunk. "We're going bowling," the Grinch said.

Yuki: **_THEY WENT BOWLING?_**

Shigure: Is there a problem with bowling? I happen to like bowling.

Yuki: They just kidnapped Santa Claus, and they're going BOWLING!

Shigure: Yes.

Yuki: 0.o

Shigure: They finally arrived at the bowling alley.

Hiro: (scoff) And where was that? In Hawaii?

Shigure: Actually, yes.

Hiro: I was being sarcastic.

Shigure: Oh, you were? I wasn't.

Hiro: Just hurry up with the story.

Shigure: I will, thank you. They finally arrived at the bowling alley in Hawaii.

Hiro: Wait a second. If they were traveling by car, then how'd they get to Hawaii from the North Pole?

Shigure: In this story, Hawaii is connected to the North Pole.

Kyo: HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

Shigure: Because it's my turn, and I said so.

Kyo: Whatever…

Shigure: Anyway, they parked the car in the driveway. When they walked in, the ghost of Christmas past greeted them happily.

Yuki:** _THEGHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST?_**

Shigure: They own the bowling alley.

Yuki: They?

Shigure: 'They' meaning Past, present and future.

Kyo: Do I want to know what Future does for a living?

Shigure: He runs the vending machines.

Kyo: 0.o

Shigure: "We need sizes 10, 12, and 23 shoes, thank you," Santa said.

Yuki: 23?

Shigure: Grinch's shoes are on too tight, so he's doing him a favor.

Yuki: Oh.

Shigure: Once they had their shoes, they began to bowl. Of course, because of Grinch's abnormally large fingers, he got his fingers stuck in the bowling balls often.

Ayame: But whatever happened to dear Santa?

Shigure: Oh, he fell asleep.

Ayame: Alright. Please continue.

Shigure: They stayed for 12 hours.

Kagura: Was it even open that long?

Shigure: Of course! Past, present, and future are all ghosts! They don't need a break!

Kagura: Oh yeah.

Shigure: It was finally time to go. Feeling quite proud, they loaded Santa into the truck again and headed for the North Pole.

Hiro: Didn't they wake him up first?

Shigure: Nope. Aya, would you like to end this wonderful tale?

Ayame: Why, I would be honored!

Kyo: Oh no…

Ayame: Finally, Santa woke up. "What a night!" he sighed, "I'm so glad to have gotten a break! At least the job was done." "Whatever do you mean, Santa Claus?" the Grinch asked.

Yuki: I'm pretty sure the Grinch isn't so polite.

Ayame: Oh, fine! "Whaddya mean!" the Grinch snapped. "Well, you see, when we all left for the bowling alley, my agent--

Hiro: SANTA CLAUS HAS AN AGENT?

Ayame: Of COURSE! How do you think he pays for all of those toys, cleans his suit, eats cookies and drinks milk all in one year! He needs an agent!

Hiro: Whatever…

Ayame: "…my agent delivered the toys for me! Isn't that just so resourceful?" The Grinch and Scrooge gaped at him. Then they went off and accidentally stepped in front of a bus. The end.

Yuki, Kyo, Hiro: **_WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?_**

Shigure: (claps) That was such a SUPERB ending, Ayame!

Kagura: (sniff sniff) (blows nose into tissue) That was so inspirational!

Tohru: Um…I liked it…

Kisa: It was very creative…

Kyo: THEY STEPPED IN FRONT OF A BUS? WHAT THE CRAP KINDA ENDING IS THAT?

Ayame: But they kidnapped Santa Claus! It seemed only right!

Yuki: (slaps forehead)

Kyo: I'm outta here…thanks for the cocoa, Tohru.

Tohru: Oh! Um…you're welcome.

Kyo: (walks out)

Ayame: Oh! Where did our dear friend Hatori go?

Hiro: Once he heard about those two weirdos kidnapping Santa, he left.

Ayame: Oh, what a shame. INHALES

Momiji, Shigure, Ayame, Kagura, and Haru: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

* * *

There you have it. My first real humor fic.

Kira: **_THEY STEPPED IN FRONT OF A BUS?_**

Me: Of course. I had to kill them off.

Kira: But WHY?

Me: They kidnapped Santa.

Kira: 0.o

Zero: YAY! VIOLENCE!

Me: See? (motions to Zero) _She's_ happy about the ending.

Kira: SHE'S A PSYCHO WHO ENJOYS PAIN AND VIOLENCE! AND KILLING!

Zero: Don't forget butter.

Kira: 0.o

Me: Aaaanyway...please review!


End file.
